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Author Topic: A Murder in Alvedara - Explanations  (Read 4278 times)
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Kane
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« on: February 14, 2011, 05:14:58 AM »

A Murder in Alvedara – Explanations

The killer was a very senior legate, formerly a Grand Legate who opposed Sunulael’s dominance of the order and Jahzir’s grasping for power. The killer was able to stage his own death so he could continue his work against the Night Kings without suspicion. He then gathered former acolytes and the disaffected and began his plan to take control of Alvedara.

The ritual was a summoning of spirits to possess and empower a type of flesh golem. Empowered by the spirits it was able to act of its own will and had the knowledge and skills of the lost souls. It was far more powerful than a normal flesh golem, as evidenced by the destruction it caused.

The final battle was a trap designed to draw in and kill off the Grand Legate and the most dangerous legates in Alvedara. The killer did not see Gavran as a threat, but almost a hundred guardsmen helped turn the tide. Without the guard’s intervention, the golem would likely have survived.

While cast as the hero of our story, Gavran is not a nice man. He will do whatever is necessary to support the Prince and the High King and has little concern over the lower classes. Torture is part of his job and he doesn’t shy away from hurting people. However, in his mind he is doing what is best for the people of his city and Erenland. He keeps order and does not casually take lives. The resistance sees him as an enemy and would be happy to see him removed. Gavran is just one of thousands of people who believe themselves honorable and doing what’s best by working with/serving the Shadow.

This is my last story serial.  I’ve got nothing left in the tank at least for now. I hope you’ve enjoyed the last four serials and got some use out of them. With this last one, I wanted to pick someone on the inside that was both honorable and evil at the same time. It was a story I wanted to tell. If I had real writing ability I would’ve written it as a novella and fleshed it out more. As it is, I think it told the story if a bit sparse on details and character development.

Kane
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arnon
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« Reply #1 on: February 14, 2011, 05:57:12 AM »

I loved it, Kane.

And I can easily see how this could fit into some "city-fun" in a campaign where the players are offered the chance to join forces with the City Guard in order to protect the city and civilians. An honorable chap like Gavran might let them go afterward (although he also told that informant he will take care of him and then ordered him killed)..

Thanks for these stories, they're awesome.

-arnon
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Pheros
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« Reply #2 on: February 14, 2011, 11:13:45 AM »

Phenomenal story Kane!  I loved it, very well done.  I've been looking forward to Monday's for the last 30 weeks!

Thanks,
Joe
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Lgaard
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« Reply #3 on: February 14, 2011, 11:33:05 AM »

It is a great piece of writing and I liked it very much. Maybe a final scene (a fight) is a bit disappointing given how the plot developed, the climax etc. but all in all: really good job! I hope you'll change your mind and we will see another of your short stories soon.
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Kane
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« Reply #4 on: February 15, 2011, 05:21:39 AM »

Thanks guys. My original plan was to write a serial for each major racial group (so far Dorn, Sarcosan, Erenlander, Dwarf), but plans and reality/inspiration don't always match.  I'll start thinking about possible serials for the fey and see if I can come up with something. Serials are tough as you need to keep the weekly inputs short (3-5 paragraphs) but have enough action/an event to keep the story going and the reader interested. Not a lot of time for true character development and creating the scene.

Kane
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constant
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« Reply #5 on: August 29, 2011, 02:03:46 PM »

Another very late comment by me, but I figure it's never too late for praise. I was reading the story as you posted all those months ago and looked forward to the new one every week. I don't read many serials so I'm not really use to the format but I enjoyed it nonetheless. I thought it was funny how quickly I started sympathizing with Gavran despite him quite obviously being "not a nice man" as you say.
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Kane
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« Reply #6 on: August 29, 2011, 03:41:57 PM »

Glad you enjoyed it. When I get the time, I may start another one with a Danasil lead character.
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Leviathan
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« Reply #7 on: September 14, 2011, 08:02:39 PM »

I've read just this one and I really liked it.  Now I'm going to go back and read all of the others in sequence.  That's more effort than I  sometimes put into novels I buy!  I think you should try your hand at a Midnight novel, if such a thing is possible.  You have real talent.

L

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"I would say more, but a shadow seems to have passed over my face" - Goodgulf to Frito, paraphrased from Harvard Lampoon's 'Bored of the Rings'
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