Character Creation Thread (Clarion Quietus)

[Doomed Hero]

No, that one has a bit more leeway, but there's still some qualifiers. Here are your options-

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A burn-scarred ogre named King Blanket who is "friends" with Marakal.

A particularly smart goblin under the command of a hobgoblin sergeant named Clouse.

A particularly tough goblin under the command of a Hobgoblin named Clouse.

A former witch hunter turned into an Astirax serving Legate Illustrian (Possessing a Raven would let you speak roughly)

[Le Noir Faineant]

Very nice options, thank you!

If you don't mind, which one has the least complex backstory?

Since I am new to the setting, I'd prefer to play a character I don't unintentionally spoil due to my lack of knowledge.

...That said, the orc sounds great!

[Doomed Hero]

Orc? I didn't mention an orc.

None of them have terribly complex backstories. Here's a basic breakdown-

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Ogre, Laborer for a group of engineers. Only killed two of his handlers so far, so considered pretty docile. Lit on fire during a dwarven raid. A human named Marakal knocked him down and put the fire out. The revelation that people could help each other was a pretty big deal to the ogre. Normally he would have forgotten the incident (ogres aren't known for their memories), but because of the burn scars he has a constant reminder. It has become the core of his identity, and with it the idea of helping and protecting each other. His name comes from the fact that his skin now looks like one of the patchwork blankets which are a symbol of status among the ogres in the camp.

Smart Goblin, hand picked by Clouse because of his uncommon intelligence. Recently survived a dwarven ambush in a way that saved a lot of people. Couse has told him he has earned the right to a name, but the goblin doesn't know which name to pick yet.

Tough Goblin, tongue cut out for insubordination as a child, so is mute now. Red skin, which denotes a rare mutation that is linked to incredible durability. Called Red by clouse, he is fiercely loyal and quite bloodthirsty.

Thinking more on it, I'd rather you didn't play the Astirax. It's better to use it as a plot device than a PC.

[Le Noir Faineant]

I will happily choose the ogre, then!

Totally different than any other character I have played so far, so, I am intrigued.

[Doomed Hero]

Ok, this is a roleplay-heavy game, and this character is a bit of challenge for a couple reasons.

First, ogres are stupid and impulsively cruel. They run entirely on Id (as opposed to Ego). There isn't much of a disconnect between "can I do this" and "should I do this".

A good way of roughly gauging intelligence in the D20 system is to take the Int score and multiply it by 10. That gives you the rough IQ of the character. That means typical ogres have an IQ of 60, which is firmly in the "mental retardation" range. Your character is a bit smarter. He basically straddles the fence between what we define as mentally capable and incapable. It should not be comedic or underplayed. A super-strong, naturally sadistic creature with that level of intelligence is tragic, frightening and frustrating for everyone around them.

If you want to do character research, Lenny for "Of Mice and Men" is a good example of Ogre level intelligence. Forrest Gump would be a particularly smart ogre. The Incredible Hulk might be the best example.

Take those kinds of characters, and now give them the instincts of something like a cat. They are casually, unapologetically sadistic. Even if they understood that what they were doing was evil, they probably wouldn't care. Standard responses to stimulus are confusion and violence.

Ogres are strongly nocturnal and possess powerful night vision. They hate the sun and shy away from bright light.

Ogres have a strange reverence for reflective surfaces. They have been known to sit and stare at their own reflections for hours. No one really knows why, but it definitely does beyond simple curiosity. It's something significant and spiritual to them, though they none of them could tell you why.

Now, your particular ogre is a bit different. He has the same basic programming, but he also has this recently discovered notion that sometimes it's ok to help people. (of course, an ogre's idea of what is helpful, might not be that helpful)

About you specifically-

You know have a strong fear of fire, but also a strange reverence for it. Not much hurts an ogre, and not much can leave a strong enough impression on an ogre to make it remember something from one day to the next. This did both. It hurt you badly, but it also made you what you are.

Finally, when you are around Marakal, things seem easier to understand. The more time you spend around him, the more cognitive you are.

Read "Flowers For Algernon" for inspiration about how to properly portray someone getting slowly smarter or dumber.

As for making the character, I'd like you to start with These Stats, raise the Charisma to 10, and the Strength to 22, and add one level of Barbarian to it.

If you scroll down on the linked barbarian page you're see a list of Archetypes. Basically, archetypes are alternate class abilities for different variations of the class. You may choose to substitute abilities from the following Archetypes: Hurler, Invulnerable Rager, Scarred Rager, and Superstitious.

Instead of having normal Rage, your rage works as described in the Wild Rager entry.

Take a look a the Book of Shadows on the Clarion Quietus sub board for examples of how to put together a character sheet. If you have trouble with coding the tables and things like that, let me know. I can help you.

Any thoughts or questions?

[Le Noir Faineant]

A first attempt - please consider I haven't made a PF character ever before. Only time I played was for 30 mins, with pregens.

Looks okay to me, though.

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King Blanket
Male Other Race Name Ogre Barbarian 1 | [Chaotic Neutral]
DESCRIPTION
Age ?
Looks Black hair, Green eyes
Height/Weight 9 ft tall, 450klbs. (Large)
Homeland Erethor
Deity "Aradil"
Campaign Clarion Quiethus
Representing Le Noir Faineant


STRENGTH   22 (+6)   HIT POINTS
HP 33
Current HP
 
DEXTERITY   7 (-2)   
CONSTITUTION   9 (-1)   
INTELLIGENCE   6 (-2)   
WISDOM   11 (+0)   
CHARISMA   11 (+0)   

Initiative -1 = -2 [Dex] +1 Ogre
Action Points (Lifetime) 5


SKILLS
SKILL   Total + Ability Mod. + Ranks + Misc.
Acrobatics*   -2 = DEX -2+0+0
Appraise   -2 = INT -2+0+0
Bluff   +0 = CHA 0+0+0
Climb*   +16 = STR 6+7+3
Craft   -2 = INT -2+0+0
Craft   -2 = INT -2+0+0
Craft   -2 = INT -2+0+0
Diplomacy   +0 = CHA 0+0+0
Disable Device*†   -2 = DEX -2+0+0
Disguise   +0 = CHA 0+0+0
Escape Artist*   -2 = DEX -2+0+0
Fly*   -2 = DEX -2+0+0
Handle Animal†   +0 = CHA 0+0+0
Heal   +0 = WIS 0+0+0
Intimidate   +0 = CHA 0+0+0
K (Arcana)†   -2 = INT -2+0+0
K (Dungeoneering)†   -2 = INT -2+0+0
K (Engineering)†   -2 = INT -2+0+0
K (Geography)†   -2 = INT -2+0+0
K (History)†   -2 = INT -2+0+0
K (Local)†   -2 = INT -2+0+0
K (Nature)†   -2 = INT -2+0+0
K (Nobility)†   -2 = INT -2+0+0
K (Planes)†   -2 = INT -2+0+0
K (Religion)†   -2 = INT -2+0+0
Linguistics†   -2 = INT -2+0+0
Perception   +8 = WIS 0+5+3
Perform   +0 = CHA 0+0+0
Perform   +0 = CHA 0+0+0
Profession†   +0 = WIS 0+0+0
Profession†   +0 = WIS 0+0+0
Ride   -2 = DEX -2+0+0
Sense Motive   +0 = WIS 0+0+0
Sleight of Hand*†   -2 = DEX -2+0+0
Spellcraft†   -2 = INT -2+0+0
Stealth*   -2 = DEX -2+0+0
Survival   +0 = WIS 0+0+0
Swim*   +6 = STR 6+0+0
Use Magic Device†   +0 = CHA 0+0+0


* Armor Check Penalty -3
† Trained Only
EQUIPMENT

???





NOTES

Base Speed [ 40 (8 sq.) ] = 30 [Base] + 10 [Fast Movement]

AC [11] = 10 + 4 [Hide] -2 [Dex] -1 [Large Size]
Touch AC [7]    Flat-Footed [11]
BASE ATTACK BONUS   +3
Basic Melee Attack +8
Basic Ranged Attack -2
Weapon   Attack Bonus   Critical
Great Club   +7   
         2d+7
Type   Range   Ammo   Damage

Weapon   Attack Bonus   Critical
Javelin   +1   
   10 ft   4   1d8+5
Type   Range   Ammo   Damage

FORTITUDE SAVE   +1   = 2 [base] -1 [Con]
REFLEX SAVE   -2   = 0 [base] -2 [Dex]
WILL SAVE   +0   = 0 [base] +0 [Wis]

CMB   +10   = 3 [BAB] +6 [Str] +1 [size]
CMD   +18   = 3 [BAB] +6 [Str] -2 [Dex] +1 [size] + 10







      
FEATS
Toughness
Climb
Perception

   TRAITS
CARRYING CAPACITY
Light Load: 346lbs.
Medium Load: 692lbs.
Heavy Load: 1040lbs.
Lift Over Head: 1040lbs.
Lift Off Ground: 2080lbs.
Push or Drag: 5200lbs.


   LANGUAGES
Common
Giant
   
SPECIAL ABILITIES
Other Race Name Ogre
Racial Abilities:


Barbarian
Fast Movement
Wild Rager




EXPERIENCE POINTS   ?

Questions, apart from it, I really have none, apart from setting specific stuff, maybe.

I picture him as a wild man, pretty similar to the trolls from Tolkien's Hobbit, who used to dwell in the forests of Erethor, and whose tribe worships "Aradil".

Something like that.

[Doomed Hero]

Remember, he's not a good guy. He might have this weird occasional impulse to be helpful, but he's still completely evil. He's been a worker in the mountains his whole life. He's never been to the forest and he's never even heard of Aradil.

Midnight Ogres aren't much like Tolkein ogres. here is an example of a tolkein-ish ogre drawn from classic myth.

Here are  Some  Midnight Ogres

Notice how they look a lot like overgrown hobgoblins? That's because they basically are. Ogres are the largest of the goblinoids. Notice the pointed ears and bald heads.

Ogres aren't really "wild men" or "primitive" either. They have family bonds and a solid grasp of language. They're just stupid.

[Doomed Hero]

Here is the beginning of the fight that your character got burned and rescued in.

Here's the aftermath, where your character got his name and status.

[Le Noir Faineant]

Aaah, indeed, the character seems perfect. Even looks a bit like me. Good times!


So, two additinal questions, but apart from that, I am pretty much ready when you are.

1. What's their take on religion? Do they abstract the "evil religion" in some individual way,
to make it more accessible to themselves? Like the orcs in LotR refer to the "Lidless Eye", etc.

2. Is human meat, more in general, on his diet plan?

[Le Noir Faineant]

Oh, probably a third question:

What languages does he speak? Is he able to communicate with anybody from the party (except Marakal, apparently)?

[Luiniel Blades]

I believe I can shed some light on your questions.

1. I believe that Ogres are too dumb to fully comprehend religion as more than a vague concept, for the most part.  Though there are always the rare exceptions and those are fully behind the worship of Izrador.  In the eyes of most Izrador is simply the only God and worshiping him is not seen as evil.  It is simply the way of things.

2.  Humans are not part of the usual diet plan and would most likely result in punishment if they were still potentially useful.

3. Due to your intelligence you will most likely be restricted to Black tongue, which is a very simple language in and of itself, but is widely used by most servants of the Shadow.  That doesn't mean that your character won't get to learn new languages.  Especially if he hangs around both Marakal and Clouse long enough.

Also, if you'd like I could give you a hand with your character.

[Doomed Hero]

LB has it right except for the eating part. Ogres commonly eat their kills. Once it's dead it's meat, and trying to take food from an ogre is a really bad idea.

You can train an ogre not to kill on impulse, but you really can't train an ogre not to eat what it kills.

Giving an ogre permission to kill is pretty much giving them permission to eat.

To put it another way, in Black Tongue there is no significant difference between the word for fight and the word for hunt.

[Le Noir Faineant]

Hehehe, good, thank you both.

I think I am ready, then. Anything else I should know?

Lui, will you be my MASTAAAAA? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SrSX8NYN2x4

[Doomed Hero]

Here's the checklist-

Read both of the links to the game above to get an idea of what your character has been through. Ask any questions you have.

Stat out your character mechanically and post it here for us to nitpick.

Read through the posting guidelines, ask any questions you need to.

- Once you've done those things and I ok the character's mechanics we'll have you post a character sheet jump into the game.

[Ghostfall]

Hey doomed hero,

Sorry it took me an extra day to get back to you after I finished reading the alterations to the game mechanics I went to read the stuff about Mandag and I ended up reading the entire Quietus Clarion IC thread. This is quite the game you have here.

Jumping into a group that already has an established identity isn't the easiest thing in the world but I've been really impressed with what I've seen so far and I think I'd end up kicking myself down the line if I didn't jump on this opportunity.

I also read the exchange earlier in this thread between you and the original player. There a few mechanical things I'd like to tweak in order To put the character more in line with his backstory, and how i see him operating, additionally there are some minor flavor details I'd like to alter if possible.

It seems to me like Mandag is just a very worn down person, his initial description describes him as 32, but I imagine he looks older, you know like when you see those people that just look so tired and beat down that they seem a good 5 or 6 years older than they actually are. I'm not a huge fan of literal disfigurement, butI imagine though that he would be very cut up and bruised, and just worn looking from the toll his life and his job take on him. He obviously cares deeply about his job because he believes in it and what it's potentially worth, but I can't help feeling that in his head sometimes it must just feel like this big burden after a while, even though he'd never admit it. Of course in the end doubting the importance of his mission even slightly would just make him feel guilty knowing what's at stake and make him push himself harder. I assume he knows garion and some of his crew because they essentially work in the same business albeit for different bosses. Now he's motivated to work with the group because they're heading the same way and even though their goals may be different, he sees the overlap and understands that they can be mutually beneficial to each other.

As I fighter I really like the idea that there's some elvish tradition in the technique that's been distilled through the line of past human agents. Growing up I'm sure Mandag was always a brawler, not very trained but with a lot of fight in him, I think the eleven influence would be in the striking really, the elves in midnight are no push over, so their technique would be very brutal and efficient, but at the same time be really balanced and fluid, almost like a mix of Pencak Silat and muay boran. The grappling is where the human influences would really show up. ( for some reason I always picture dorns knowing sambo)

Sorry for the rant but I really like to get into my characters heads and stories before finalizing mechanics. I'd love to hear your thoughts on my assessment. obviously I want to make sure my understanding fits given that we're working with pre existing material and I don't wanna do anything to throw off what's been established already. If it sounds like I've got the right idea I'll work up a character sheet based off one of the others from this thread so you guys can pick through it.

Oh and one last question. Does Mandags background with the elves give him enough justification for me to pick up basic in high elven?

Thanks,
Ghost

[Doomed Hero]

Sounds like you've done a great job dissecting the character already. I'm impressed.

Go ahead and give me a mechanical work up of your version of Mandag. Basic elven is fine.

[Le Noir Faineant]

Here's the checklist-

Read both of the links to the game above to get an idea of what your character has been through. Ask any questions you have.

Stat out your character mechanically and post it here for us to nitpick.

Read through the posting guidelines, ask any questions you need to.

- Once you've done those things and I ok the character's mechanics we'll have you post a character sheet jump into the game.

I am pretty much ready to go, then, already.

As to the charsheet, as I mentioned before, I already created the basic stuff.

Didn't edit it nicely, or whatever, though, because I am pretty sure I will have to change some stuff.

That said, would it be okay to create a printer-friendly Mythweavers sheet?

That's usually how I prefer it.

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King Blanket
Male Other Race Name Ogre Barbarian 1 | [Chaotic Neutral]
DESCRIPTION
Age ?
Looks Black hair, Green eyes
Height/Weight 9 ft tall, 450 kg (Large)
Campaign Clarion Quiethus
Representing Le Noir Faineant


STRENGTH   22 (+6)   HIT POINTS
HP 33
Current HP
 
DEXTERITY   7 (-2)   
CONSTITUTION   9 (-1)   
INTELLIGENCE   6 (-2)   
WISDOM   11 (+0)   
CHARISMA   11 (+0)   

Initiative -1 = -2 [Dex] +1 Ogre
Action Points (Lifetime) 5


SKILLS
SKILL   Total + Ability Mod. + Ranks + Misc.
Acrobatics*   -2 = DEX -2+0+0
Appraise   -2 = INT -2+0+0
Bluff   +0 = CHA 0+0+0
Climb*   +16 = STR 6+7+3
Craft   -2 = INT -2+0+0
Craft   -2 = INT -2+0+0
Craft   -2 = INT -2+0+0
Diplomacy   +0 = CHA 0+0+0
Disable Device*†   -2 = DEX -2+0+0
Disguise   +0 = CHA 0+0+0
Escape Artist*   -2 = DEX -2+0+0
Fly*   -2 = DEX -2+0+0
Handle Animal†   +0 = CHA 0+0+0
Heal   +0 = WIS 0+0+0
Intimidate   +0 = CHA 0+0+0
K (Arcana)†   -2 = INT -2+0+0
K (Dungeoneering)†   -2 = INT -2+0+0
K (Engineering)†   -2 = INT -2+0+0
K (Geography)†   -2 = INT -2+0+0
K (History)†   -2 = INT -2+0+0
K (Local)†   -2 = INT -2+0+0
K (Nature)†   -2 = INT -2+0+0
K (Nobility)†   -2 = INT -2+0+0
K (Planes)†   -2 = INT -2+0+0
K (Religion)†   -2 = INT -2+0+0
Linguistics†   -2 = INT -2+0+0
Perception   +8 = WIS 0+5+3
Perform   +0 = CHA 0+0+0
Perform   +0 = CHA 0+0+0
Profession†   +0 = WIS 0+0+0
Profession†   +0 = WIS 0+0+0
Ride   -2 = DEX -2+0+0
Sense Motive   +0 = WIS 0+0+0
Sleight of Hand*†   -2 = DEX -2+0+0
Spellcraft†   -2 = INT -2+0+0
Stealth*   -2 = DEX -2+0+0
Survival   +0 = WIS 0+0+0
Swim*   +6 = STR 6+0+0
Use Magic Device†   +0 = CHA 0+0+0


* Armor Check Penalty -3
† Trained Only
EQUIPMENT

???





NOTES

Base Speed [ 40 (8 sq.) ] = 30 [Base] + 10 [Fast Movement]

AC [11] = 10 + 4 [Hide] -2 [Dex] -1 [Large Size]
Touch AC [7]    Flat-Footed [11]
BASE ATTACK BONUS   +3
Basic Melee Attack +8
Basic Ranged Attack -2
Weapon   Attack Bonus   Critical
Great Club   +7   
         2d+7
Type   Range   Ammo   Damage

Weapon   Attack Bonus   Critical
Javelin   +1   
   10 ft   4   1d8+5
Type   Range   Ammo   Damage

FORTITUDE SAVE   +1   = 2 [base] -1 [Con]
REFLEX SAVE   -2   = 0 [base] -2 [Dex]
WILL SAVE   +0   = 0 [base] +0 [Wis]

CMB   +10   = 3 [BAB] +6 [Str] +1 [size]
CMD   +18   = 3 [BAB] +6 [Str] -2 [Dex] +1 [size] + 10







      
FEATS
Toughness
Climb
Perception

   TRAITS
CARRYING CAPACITY
Light Load: 346lbs.
Medium Load: 692lbs.
Heavy Load: 1040lbs.
Lift Over Head: 1040lbs.
Lift Off Ground: 2080lbs.
Push or Drag: 5200lbs.


   LANGUAGES
Common
Giant
   
SPECIAL ABILITIES
Other Race Name Ogre
Racial Abilities:


Barbarian
Fast Movement
Wild Rager




EXPERIENCE POINTS   ?

...Now, I am not somebody who overdoes meta-talk, but seriously, one more thing:

Humor and, ahem, LULZ, in this game: Is it okay?

Because I seem to have the kind of character that lends itself to a lot of unintentional comedy.

Now, I can play him straight, as you seem to want, OR I can play him, like, RAAAAH You don't take mushroom.

(If you know the origin of this quote, you are a beautiful person.)

Either way is fine with me, just don't want to tip on any toes.

[Luiniel Blades]

Hey Noir-  Sorry I didn't get back to you sooner, I was away from a computer all day.  Here's a list of things I noticed about your character that should be changed around.  Also the way this game is being run there is going to be a huge overhaul to the Armor class and Hit points.  Fair warning, this will get pretty number crunchy so here we go.

Characters Stats:  Readjust to the following. Raise your Dexterity to 8 and your Constitution to 15.  Lower your Wisdom and Charisma to 10.  Your Strength and Intelligence are both okay.  

Hit points /Vitality points:  I believe these should be significantly higher.  You'll have to ask Doomed to be sure but I think you'll have maximum hit points for those.  Your character has 4 racial hit dice of D8's and 1 Barbarian class level with a D12, for a grand total of 5 hit dice.  Adding in your Constitution bonus of +2 and the fact that you have the Toughness feat your total should be 59.  There is going to be a separate pool called Wound points.  You have a wound point total equal to your Constitution score.  In King Blankets case 15.

Skills: Okay, so next your skills should be relatively easy to handle due to the fact your character has a substantial hit to the amount of skill points he would normally get because of his low Intelligence.  Right now you are only getting 6 skill points to distribute around.  Take a look at the Barbarian skill set and put points where you think they apply to your character.  In Pathfinder there are no longer Cross class skills.  Your character can technically have any skill you think makes since for him to have.  The Class/racial skill list determines whether he has a knack (+3) for it or not.  Your Humanoid and Barbarian class skills don't differentiate too much so there won't be too much overlap there.  Also don't forget to alter your Stat abilities.

Feats:  You have 5 h.d. so you have 3 feats now.  You have Toughness and then Climb and perception.  If you meant to have Skill Focus Climb and Perception then put the +3 bonus at the end of the skill list and let us be done with this.  Otherwise you might want to consider some other options.  If you are dead set on being better at skills, then maybe the Athletic and Alertness Feats which give a +2 bonus on Climb and Swim and then Perception and Sense Motive respectively.  I would also recommend things like Power Attack and Cleave since you would be a heavy hitter or even Extra Rage since you are a Barbarian.  You could also take any of the Saving throw boosts though I would have those be lower on my list of wants.  Your character is also be proficient with Light and Medium armors, shields, (Except Tower shields) and also Simple and Martial weapons.

Armor Class: So in this game Armor counts towards D.R. but gives you less actual A.C.  To make up for this you get a class bonus to A.C.  This may seem confusing but stick with me and I'll make it as simple as I can.
First your armor class:  You should be described as wearing Hide armor which normally gives +4 a.c. but in this system we're using will give a +2 armor bonus and 2/- Damage Reduction.  You  also have a +5 Natural Armor for your Tough hide which will convert over to a +4 a.c. and give you 1/- D.R.  To make up for this lost armor class you also get a Class Defense bonus which for you will be +5. Your Dexterity is only at -1.  This will increase your armor to 21.  Touch 13.  Flat Footed 21  You now also have 3/- D.R. against attacks.  Check out the Major rules changes and Other Character creation tables for more specific information.

Speed/Initiative/Base Attack Bonus/CMB/CMD: All of these things should be Altered
Speed: You have a base racial speed of 40 ft.  Increased to 50 with Fast movement which is not impeded by medium armor due to your level of Barbarian.  You are one fast Ogre sir.
Initiative: -1.  Not sure where you got the +2 but if you do then enjoy your +1.
Base Attack Bonus: +4, Combat Maneuver Bonus: +11,  Combat Maneuver Defense: 20
Saving Throws: Fortitude: +8(+10 when raging) , Reflex: +0, Will: +1 (+3 when Raging)
Racial Abilities: Darkvision 60 and Low light Vision
Languages: Black Tongue
Experience Points:  Doomed Hero will let us know when we level up so don't worry about this.

P.S. " You no take candle!"

[Doomed Hero]

Again LB is correct. The only thing I would add is that I encourage you to take one of the alternate class features from the barbarian archetypes I listed that replace Fast Movement. Ogres are not generally fast.

As for humor, it is encouraged. There's a lot of possibility for humor in the character. That being said, he's still a tragically stupid amoral monster. He can be funny, but he should not devolve into a comic relief character.

[Le Noir Faineant]

Ah, thank you very much! I'll then do the final writeup for the character tonight, including all your corrections.

Treated myself the first Midnight core rulebook, so, soon enough, I hope I am not a total noob any more, too.


Very excited to join you, Sirs!

[Doomed Hero]

First edition or second edition Midnight?

[Luiniel Blades]

The difference between the 1st edition core rulebook and the 2nd edition is very big.  It will still help with understanding the feeling of the setting and getting the layout of the lands but a lot of the numbers and various abilities for the classes and Heroic paths are very different. 

[Le Noir Faineant]

Oh, the first edition. The second edition is really too expensive, going at amazon at around 75$,
with the books on ebay only slightly cheaper.

[Ghostfall]

Mandag
Male Erenlander Defender 2
32 years old
5'11" 180 lbs.
Body cast: Thomas Jane



Str: 16  +3
Dex: 14  +2
Con: 16  +3
Int: 14  +2
Wis: 13  +1
Cha: 10  +0
Karma: 10  +0

Vitality / Wounds: 22 / 16
Action points: 11
Speed: 30 ft.
Initiative: +2
BAB: +2
Melee : +5
Ranged: +4
CMB: +5
CMD: +17

Unarmed Strike +6
1d6 +3 Damage  20x2 crit  (+ 2 bab + 3 str + 1 greaves)

Throwing Axe +4
1d6 +3 Damage  20x2 crit  10' Range (+ 2 bab + 2 dex)

AC: 21 [10 + 2 dex + 6 defense + 1 armor + 1 greaves + 1 defender]

Body Area	Armor Type	Bludgeon DR	Pierce DR	Slash DR	Damage Threshold
1) Head	None	0	0	0	3
2-4) Torso	Padded	0	0	0	10
5) Right Arm	Greaves	1	1	1	4
6) Left Arm	Greaves	1	1	1	4
7-8) Right Leg	None	0	0	0	5
9-10) Left Leg	None	0	0	0	5

Saves:
Fort: +4 [+ 3 con + 1 Urban Erenlander]
Reflex +5 [+3 class + 2 dex]
Will +1 [+ 1 class]

Abilities:
Urban erenlander
   +1 to Fortitude saving throws
   +4 to Stealth checks in urban environments
   +2 to Bluff and Sense Motive checks
   Forage for food in urban environments
Accidental linguist (suffer only -10 to applicable check when communicating in languages which he has no competence)
Favored Region: Urban
Masterful Strike
Stunning fist 5/day DC:14
Defender ability: Offensive Training (blind or deafen a stunned opponent for 3 rounds if fail fortitute saving throw DC:14)

Feats:
Combat expertise (Level 1)
Improved Trip (Erenlander)
Improved Unarmed Strike (Defender 1)
Stunning Fist (Defender 2)

Traits:
Suspicious (+ 1 on sense motive checks)
Know the Land (You gain a +1 trait bonus on Knowledge (nature) and Survival checks, and one of these skills becomes a class skill for you)

Skills:
16 points [( 4 class + 2 int + 1 favored class + 1 race) x 2 level]

Acrobatics + 6	(1 rank + 3 class + 2 dex)
Bluff +7	(2 ranks + 3 class +2 race)
Climb +7	(1 rank + 3 class + 3 str)
Heal +2	(1 rank + 1 Wis)
Knowledge (Geography) +6	(1 rank + 3 class + 2 int)
Knowledge (Local) +6	(1 rank + 3 class + 2 int)
Knowledge (Shadow) +6	(1 rank + 3 class + 2 int)
Perception +6	(2 ranks + 3 class + 1 wis)
Sense Motive +9	(2 ranks + 3 class + 1 wis + 2 race + 1 trait)
Stealth +7	(2 ranks + 3 class + 2 dex) [+4 in urban environments; +5 in wilderness]
Survival +6	(1 rank + 3 class + 1 wis + 1 trait)
Swim +7	(1 rank + 3 class + 3 str)

Languages:
Erenlander (fluent)
Trader's tongue (basic)
Colonial (pidgin)
Norther (pidgin)
High Elven (basic)

Gear:
Masterwork Forearm greaves, (+5 on Hide checks to conceal)
10 HP of healing salve (must fortitude save (DC=10 + HP healed) or be sickened
Tunic of endure elements (flawed, works only until 0 degrees)
Elven-made cloak (+5 to stealth in wilderness)
Padded armor
Tatty cloths
Silk rope
Dry rations x5
Belt pouch x 2
Throwing axe
Dagger
Climber's kit
Flint and steel
Backpack
bedroll
Fishhook
Lantern, hooded



There you go, tear it apart. most of it was a simple copy over from the previous player, I think I got everything right except maybe the language config. As you can see DH, the only things I switched around were a couple of the feats, the languages and I was hoping to exchange the Iron liver trait for Know the land choosing survival to be a class skill, I know that it's normally listed as a religious trait but I think it would be useful to represent Mandag's training since his job requires him to operate in the wilderness sometimes, and he probably would have learned how to do so from his training passed down by the elves.

thoughts, concerns, criticisms?

[Luiniel Blades]

Hey there Ghost.  Since I'm giving Noir a hand with his character I think it's only fair that I help you as well.  I'll be your first criticizer.  

Ability Scores: These look good except that you have 2 more points to distribute.  In this game Erenlanders are superior than others and gain another +2 to their scores.  Assuming that you put 5 points into Strength, Dexterity, Constitution, Intelligence and 3 points to your Wisdom and then you put both of your +2 bonuses to Strength and Constitution to give you 16, the total comes to 23 out of 25 points.

Vitality points: Defenders are D8 hit dice so with your +3 hit points, assuming Doomed is fine with it then you should have a maximum of 22 vitality points.

Feats: Erenlanders have more feats than anyone else in the game.  You should have one more racial feat, so enjoy.

Skills: Similarly to Feats, Erenlanders have more skill points than anyone else.  You should have 2 more ranks because of your race.

Languages: You're all clear here since your background covers dealing with Elves and the level of competence for the related languages are correct.

Equipment: This looks good here as long as DH clears it all.  Although I will say that I seriously doubt that the Elves who probably gave Mandag the Elven cloak and the Endure Elements Tunic, most likely would not have handed him a flawed one.

Overall I have to say I'm impressed with how well you've grasped your character concept and the tables.  A few last very minor nit picks, your Defender level should read 2 (it threw me off for a while) and your fortitude saving throw bonus comes from Constitution rather than Strength.  Other than that just things to make your character a little better overall.